The Giver, The Taker And In-Betweener, Which Are You?

Humans have been categorised in many ways by psychologists, astrologists and social scientists. Some have even written books to explain their theories.

The known categories are zodiac signs, temperaments, Myer-Briggs Personality types etc. One might oppose the idea of putting humans in boxes, with the argument that we’re all unique.

However, even in our uniqueness, we always react within numbered options. For example, if we decide to experiment with the different ways someone would react when they’re physically attacked for no reason, the reactions no matter how many can be counted, which in this case would be: an immediate retaliation or a calm reaction.

So, since there are only several reactions to be chosen from by the entire human population, it points to the credibility of behavioural categorisation. This article captures an interesting but un-discussed topic.

It is a common saying that life is all about give and take. We all need something at every point in time; this is why we’re communal specie. We cannot effectively function in isolation and this need for easy connection was the driving force for the invention of social media. In this business of giving and taking, there are three types of people.

Givers (How can I help?)
Givers are often mistaken for only the rich and affluent, it is no farther from the truth. Givers are in the trenches too. If all the rich are givers, why do we see rich, but stingy people, never associating with people they’re ‘better’ than? It is a mindset. Givers always give but they never take without intense persuasion.

This is because they are self-reliant individuals with a love for solving problems, hence they’re drawn to the problems of others, and they offer a solution without much thought or hesitation. Takers are quick to assume that givers have enough just because they never say no. Even when givers do not have what is requested, they give what they have anyway: their time, effort, resources and even their goodwill. ‘Givers never lack’ is not really about the future, it is their reality.

Givers easily get overwhelmed due to endless requests, especially in this part of the world. They need to pause every now and then and ask themselves what they need to do and in turn, learn to ask others for help.

Takers (How can you help me?)
The world is full of takers. They are often tagged as lazy and selfish, but it is important to highlight their bravery, as being able to ask for help is a strength that givers do not have. This life is not meant to be dealt with alone. They are less worried about their needs because they have the givers to do the job of worrying for them.

One admirable trait that they have is their ability to handle rejection; getting a ‘No’ does not discourage them from asking the next person. Takers are humble, gladly sitting under the canopy of the smaller person. Because they somewhat detest giving, they only mingle with givers. The downside of being a taker is the tendency to become unambitious due to overly relying on givers.
Takers need to look inwards and acknowledge how equally equipped they are to offer help to themselves sometimes. They can also from time to time give back by asking their giver friends how they can assist them.

The In-Betweener (It depends)
As their name depicts, the people in this category are in-between. They have the admiration of the givers as they can ask for help and can also say no. On the other hand, takers are careful with them as they are never sure what their response will be if they’re approached. In-betweeners create boundaries that protect them from feeling overwhelmed by requests from takers; they do their part and leave the rest. Financially, most of them create a budget for charity and once that budget has been exhausted, they go on to have goodnight sleep.

Personally, I think some in-betweeners were givers who learnt the need for moderation the hard way while some were takers who have decided to do better.